Wed. Oct 8th, 2025
Australia map with playing card montage. Designed by J. Abel incorporating images of a Royal badge and the Queen Camilla Cypher from Wikimedia Commons.
Australia holding a winning hand of cards. Image: J. Abel incorporating images of royal insignia from Wikimedia Commons.

In any game of cards you need to recognise a good deal, and then know when and how to play your strongest hand.

Case in point – although this was a second date – Great Britain’s King Charles, Queen Camilla, and the Prince and Princess of Wales were out to impress President Trump during his recent state visit and give their guests a royal experience that a business mogul just cannot buy. This power pack of regal representatives are well versed in flattery and quirkiness, and have the ability to smooth over those pesky political sticking points. Castles, carriages, beefeaters, banquets, tradition and finery were all beautifully packaged and delivered. The UK rolled out the royals, played their best hand and won the round, or at least enough to stay in the game and avoid a Trump tariff hike.

President Donald Trump and First Lady Melania Trump participate in an arrival ceremony with King Charles III and Queen Camilla at Windsor Castle in Windsor, England on Wednesday, September 17, 2025. (Official White House Photo by Daniel Torok)
Windsor Castle welcome ceremony, President Donald Trump and First Lady Melania Trump with King Charles III and Queen Camilla. Photo by Daniel Torok – Wikimedia Commons
President Donald Trump and First Lady Melania Trump are greeted by the Prince and Princess of Wales, William and Katherine, at the landing zone at Windsor Castle in Windsor, England on Wednesday, September 17, 2025. (Official White House Photo by Daniel Torok)
Prince and Princess of Wales welcome President Donald Trump and First Lady Melania Trump.
Photo by Daniel Torok – Wikimedia Commons

Australia – these are our royals too – our King and Queen – so why aren’t we using them? The UK and Australia are connected by tradition, monarchy, foundational principles and a Union Jack in the flag, we need to cosy up and share this important resource. The King and Queen are at our service, let’s roll ’em out along with the red carpet.

For some reason we have failed to identify what a strong position Australia is in, this is no time for bluffing, shuffling about or hoping for a better deal. We already have a seat at the table – I can’t understand why we are looking to play a different game and throw away this God-given opportunity.

If we are worried about not having the right stuff to impress a President – I would point out we do have castles, a wealth of military ceremony and the iconic and sadly missed Crocodile Hunter. For quirkiness and our own take on visitor traditions – perhaps a cute quokka selfie with Malania, this would easily beat (or dare I say trump) one with a beefeater, and I reckon a banquet that includes a double croc burger and fries would satisfy the American President’s legendary love of fast food.

Quokka ready for a selfie (AI generated) - Image by PixelPond from Pixabay
Quokka ready for a selfie (AI generated) – Image by PixelPond from Pixabay
President Trump showing his love of fast food - official White House Photo by Joyce N. Boghosian from Wikimedia Commons
President Trump showing his love of fast food – official White House Photo by Joyce N. Boghosian from Wikimedia Commons

Sometimes in life we are genuinely dealt a bad hand and then we need to use wit and strategy to try and make the best of it. So come on Australia – when we already have the picture cards, the high status ones, the King, the Queen and the Jack – what are we waiting for? If we don’t use our Royals – we might as well raise our hands and fold.

By Jayne

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