Hospital Bandages: The New Hot Beauty Trend?

Ah, the thing you folks have all been anxiously waiting for. Another ridiculous Kardashian invention. That’s right, our favourite love-to-hate celebrity, Kim Kardashian, has released a new product as part of her infamous SKIMS shapewear brand – the SKIMS Seamless Sculpt Face Wrap. Or, in layman’s terms, what I like to call the ‘hospital bandage’. Yep. Overpriced at approximately $88, the product is marketed by SKIMS as the essential face wrap for “everyday wear”, made of “collagen yarns” and “sculpting fabric” with velvet closures. Sidenote: Does anyone know what collagen yarns are?

But seriously. Who would want to wear… that? Honestly, I’m not surprised that thing is literally designed to be worn overnight and not in public or under makeup.

Despite the… funky look of it, the hospital bandage has received mass attention online in the last month for becoming a revolutionary “first-ever face innovation” product that, as Kim K says, “snatches your little chinny chin chin”. Sounds scientifically proven to me. The face wrap fits snugly into the line of popular TikTok beauty trend products, including the morning shed routine that has young women taping all sorts of things onto their faces before bed. Fun!

Want to buy it yet? If you don’t, and like me, think this equally dystopian and medieval Handmaid’s Tale restrictive device-looking thing looks ridiculous, you’re definitely not alone. One user likened it to Hannibal Lecter’s face wrap in The Silence of the Lambs (1991), and the actor Anthony Hopkins even did a reaction video about it – pretty hilarious stuff.

But what’s worse is that the face wrap doesn’t… actually work. According to cosmetic procedure experts, it provides temporary compression that just… goes away eventually. Worth the $88 yet?

So, why did it sell out in under twenty-four hours? Well, the product physically resembles post-surgical compression gear. It’s genuinely marketed as If you buy this face wrap, you’ll get Kim K’s snatched jaw. What does that say about us? We think our jaws need snatching because of the Kardashians, and the Kardashian empire is all too happy to supply us with the quick fix.

The truth is, we will never be able to look like the Kardashians from any product they sell. We’d have better luck trying to steal their cosmetic surgeon.

Or maybe, we shouldn’t see ourselves as a problem that needs fixing, but rather see these products as the problem. But hey, if you want temporary compression and a cheaper option, buy some hospital bandages to wrap around your face. I hear they’re on sale for $9.99. Bargain!