Hot Take: Labubu’s Are Evil

Here’s the underlying truth that no one wants to admit because they are too excited about being able to exhaust yet another product of over-consumerism – Labubu’s are, in fact, evil. It’s time someone said it. Yes, the wide-eyed, sharp-toothed little vinyl toys that everyone insists are ‘cute’ are actually just nightmare creatures dressed up as collectibles. The craze around them feels less like a fandom and more like the first stage of a demonic summoning. 

The growing number of small plastic products that are made to be out of anyone’s typical price range and attractive to a young audience has taken the world by storm. At first glance, Labubu’s design looks playful – big eyes, exaggerated ears, a grin that’s just a little too wide. But look closer people. That grin isn’t joyful, it’s sinister. Those teeth alone will gnaw you in your sleep. And yet, people line up for hours and drop hundreds to bring one home, proudly displaying it on shelves as if it isn’t radiating pure malice.  

In fact, in the midst of all the Labubu craze on social media, some have created a ‘Pazuzu Theory’ in hopes to deduce what all the fuss is actually about. In ancient Mesopotamian mythology, Pazuzu was a demon associated with bringing protection and also destruction. He was terrifying, and yet people had kept little statues of him in their homes – believing that inviting him in was safer than leaving him outside. This theory is eerily similar to the culture behind our worshipping of Labubu’s in society today. Fans convince themselves these grinning monsters are ‘lucky charms’, but really, they’re just normalising the presence of something uncanny and unsettling in their everyday lives.  

Not only is this craze of Labubu inviting darkness into our homes, they are also very clearly DISTRACTING YOU. Did any of you know that the US Supreme Court is looking into overturning same-sex marriage? No I bet you didn’t. Because all you’re thinking, seeing, living are these crazy little Labubu’s that are taking over your houses, and also your phones. The extreme consumerism of Labubu was originally from a TikTok trend, which has now exploded all over everyone’s phones. Who knows what you might have missed? 

“24 karat Gold Labubu Matcha Benson Boone moonbeam ice-cream Dubai Chocolate” is a sentence that could single-handedly probably kill a small Victorian child if ever uttered near them. But what if it kills you?