Australia’s Hottest 100 Songs should be just 99.

Triple J, one of the most legit authorities of local indie music recently held a vote to find Australia’s hottest 100 hits of all time. No cronyism. No foreign music. Over 2.5 million Aussies voted. What a way to celebrate the country’s best music. What a great project. What could go wrong? Well, apparently nobody considered that one bad apple can ruin the lot. And one actually did.

But hey, let’s start on a high. No. 1: INXS. Heck yeah! These 80s legends put Australian music on the map back in the day with hits like Need You Tonight and New Sensation. They shared the charts with 80s greats like Duran Duran and Queen, and they are quintessential Aussie pop power. The song that hit No. 1 was surprising, in a good way. Never Tear Us Apart, showcased thoughtful songwriting while preserving INXS musical energy.

Besides No. 1, it was nice to see other usual suspects like Men At Work, Kylie, and Natalie Imbruglia make the cut. It was also great to discover that some of my more recent Indie favourites like Tame Impalas and Empire of the Sun are actually Aussie. One can, and should have the opinion that Australian music is world-class, and this Hottest 100 would have proven exactly that.

Except that No. 3 happened: The Veronicas, Untouched.

Dear Aussies, what the actual funk? Let’s begin with a disclaimer. It’s not against the Veronicas. They’re not exactly indie, but highly creative in packaging their act. Some of their hits actually do belong on the list. Just not this mashup macabre between ensemble opening, druggie EDM, and soulless heavy metal. Perhaps it was the lyrics? I herewith attach sample:

Untouched, un-untouched, untouched, un-untouched

Untouched, un-ah la la la, ah la la la

Untouched, un- ah la la la, ah la la la

I really doubt it’s the lyrics.

Is this way too much fuss over pop music? No! Pop music is the bedrock of any country’s entertainment scene. The Brunos and MJs represent the US. The Adeles and Eds, the UK. The Hottest 100 Aussie songs, like it or not, represent Australian music. My point is, when it’s this important, can the public be trusted to vote with musical integrity and not pure emotion or nostalgia? Billboard hits are decided by streaming, sales and airplay. The Grammys by the music industry. Maybe they know something we don’t. Maybe it wouldn’t be such a fuss had Untouched not been No. 3. Actually that’s an idea. Swap No. 100 with No. 3. When last is less contentious than third, maybe musical democracy is not the way to go. Listen for yourself.